Letting Go
by SmartFluff2408
Summary: "She clung to him like a drowning person, her tears wetting his sweatshirt. He whispered soft, calming words in her ear until the pain subsided. But she didn't let go." Chalant. After the events of Endgame. Dick and Barbara are an official couple; Dick is still on a leave of absence. OFF HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

Dick rapped on the door. It was opened by a tired, disheveled-looking Rocket.

"I'm here to see Zatanna," the former protégé of Batman blurted, before Rocket even had time to speak.

The young heroine's dark eyes bore into him. "Hold on," she said coldly, and disappeared through the doorway. Cautiously, Dick crept in after her.

"_He's_ here," Dick heard Rocket say, "Should I send him away?"

"Dick?" Zatanna's voice sounded cracked, slow and painful. Dick winced at the very sound of it. "Don't send him away! I need…that is, I want to see him."

"Girlfriend, he's bad news," Rocket muttered, "You and I both learned that unfortunate fact first hand."

"I still want to see him," Zatanna said softly.

"Fine, fine." Rocket sighed, and made her way toward the door. When she noticed that he had already entered the apartment, she narrowed her eyes.

"Zatanna says you can see her," Rocket told him, "But you can't stay long. She's still weak."

"Of course," Dick whispered.

Rocket gave him a fierce glare. "And if you upset her…I'm warning you." She turned to lead him back, but he grabbed her arm.

"Raquel, is it true that—"

"True that the Joker shot her before trying to cut her vocal cords out? Yeah, it's true."

"What happened?" He ordered.

Rocket sighed. Then, she said hoarsely, "Joker went after Batgirl. He was trying to get to you through your girlfriend. Zatanna stood in front of the gun aimed at Batgirl, and bought her time to escape. After that, Joker flew into a rage and tried to carve out her vocal cords. It was lucky that I found her at the time I did. Now, do you want to see her or not?"

Dick nodded, suddenly afraid of what he might find. _You're only here as her friend_, he told himself.

When Dick did see Zatanna, his legs nearly gave way. She was lying on a couch, a large, starkly white bandage around her slender waist. Her usually ivory skin was now morbidly pale, and her delicate throat was covered in knife slashes. Dick felt his fists clench.

"Zatanna," was the only word he could choke out.

Her ghostly face lit up when she saw him, giving her an ethereal beauty. She reached her fragile hand out to him, and he took it, pressing it against his lips.

Rocket stifled a yawn.

"Go rest," Zatanna told her, "Dick can watch over me for a while."

Rocket snorted but obeyed, reluctantly stumbling off to another room. Zatanna shut her eyes and inhaled a shaky breath.

"In pain?" Dick asked cautiously.

"Take a guess," she replied.

"Raquel told me what happened," Dick said quietly.

"I'm surprised Barbara didn't tell you," Zatanna ventured.

"No. Babs is too professional to—"

The young magician gritted her teeth.

"Zee?" he asked, afraid.

"It's just…pain…Dick," she said breathlessly, "Don't be…such a…coward." She let out a sharp cry.

"I'll get Raquel," he said quickly.

"No!" she cried.

"Then what do you want me to do?" He asked frantically.

"Hold me," she gasped.

Dick's mind went straight to Barbara, but he cast the thought aside. _She would understand_.

He sat on the edge of the couch, gently putting his arms around her. She clung to him like a drowning person, her tears wetting his sweatshirt. He whispered soft, calming words in her ear until the pain subsided. But she didn't let go.

"Why did you do it?" Dick asked, after a while.

"Because Batgirl was going to die," she whispered.

"Well, obviously, but…"

"Do you really think I saved Batgirl for the sake of Batgirl?" Zatanna said, her voice stronger now, "I saved her for you. I knew that if she died, it would break your heart. And I couldn't let that happen." She smiled, slightly. After a pause, she spoke in a voice that would have wrung the heart of an onlooker. "There. Now you know how I feel about you. How I _still_ feel about you."

Dick should have known. Should have known she still loved him. All the promises of eternal love they had whispered to each other in bygone days-she had meant every word. _Does Barbara…love me like that? _

Of course she did! Barbara, _not Zatanna_, was his soul mate! Wasn't she?

Dick was appalled that such a doubt had even crept into his mind. How could he question Barbara? It was all Zatanna's fault! Had he forgotten that she was a magician, no better than a sorceress? She must have bewitched him!

But looking down at the poor, broken girl in his arms, he couldn't believe that of her.

"You've upset her!" Rocket exclaimed, storming into the room, "Shame on you! You, _my friend_, have clearly overstayed your welcome."

Zatanna released Dick and he stood. "I'll be back," he promised Zatanna, and left.


	2. Chapter 2

_Bam! Zatanna doubled over, clutching her midsection. _

"_Lrigtab, evael," Zatanna gasped. Batgirl was thrust by an invisible force into an air vent. Joker smiled, his grin stretching further than any human mouth could go. _

"_So, you thought you'd spoil my plan?" the maniac asked, creeping toward her. Zatanna shrunk back, and tried to muster up a spell. Her heart beat wildly, making the searing pain in her abdomen pulse. _

"_Rekoj…llaf-" The Joker slapped a pale, bony hand over her mouth._

"_Now, little girlie, why spoil the fun now?" The Joker chuckled," We're having such a __**ripping**__ time!" With that, he slashed her across the throat with a cruel, sharp knife. But instead of feeling pain explode across neck, Zatanna sensed a gentle pressure on her hands. _

"_Zee." _

_Zatanna looked up at the Joker, bewildered. It wasn't Joker speaking. It sounded like…Dick? _

"_Zee, wake up." _

Zatanna sat up, gasping. The familiar grayish lighting of her apartment met her.

"It's okay, Zee, you're okay," Dick was saying. He was clutching both of her hands in his own strong pair. Zatanna lay back against the pillows.

"It's the third time," she whispered hoarsely.

"What's the third time?" Dick asked, inching his chair closer to the couch.

"It's the third time I've had to…relive…the mission in my dreams," Zatanna repeated. She didn't need to specify which mission she meant.

"I'm sorry," Dick said sincerely, squeezing her hands.

Zatanna sighed. "Every time it feels… so real and it just…" She stopped herself. _I can't dump all my problems on Dick. They aren't his concern anymore. Besides, he has plenty of his own. _"How long have you been here?" she asked, changing the subject.

Dick released her hands, and glanced at his undoubtedly expensive wristwatch. "Only an hour or so. Raquel's husband missed her, so she asked me to sit with you while they went out."

"Oh," Zatanna answered. She sighed, jealous. It had been almost a week since she left her drab, gray apartment.

"What?" Dick asked.

"I've been trapped in this apartment for ages," she told him, "I've practically forgotten what fresh air feels like."

"We can go outside, if you like," Dick said. Zatanna motioned to her bandage, bruised body.

"Can't," Zatanna said ruefully.

"Nonsense," Dick said. He slid his strong arms underneath her, and lifted her off the couch, as carefully as if she were made of glass. "Did that hurt?" He asked, nervously.

"No," she answered, truthfully.

Dick made his way toward the door. "Rood, nepo," Zatanna chanted. The door swung open. Though she was weak, she could summon at least a little magic.

After a few short sets of stairs, Dick and Zatanna were outside in a small courtyard. Zatanna inhaled a deep breath of air scented with flowers and freshly-cut grass. Dick carefully set her down on the lawn, and reclined next to her.

Perhaps it was only the sunlight against her skin, but Zatanna felt her cheeks warm. Dick was so close. When he had held her the day before, it was at her request. Now he was near to her of his own accord.

"Remember when we were younger?" Dick asked, unexpectedly. "It seemed like none of us were ever severely injured. Of course, Wally broke his arm on one mission before you joined the Team. But it was never anything like… Well…" he motioned to her bandage.

Zatanna nodded. She often longed for those simpler times, in fact.

Suddenly, Dick's voice dropped, as if he were taking only to himself. "Back before things were so complicated. Back before we had to make _impossible_ decisions."

"Like what?" Zatanna asked, startled.

Dick shook his head. Then, abruptly he stopped, staring at her neck.

"My scars are more impressive in this lighting," Zatanna said, guessing his thoughts.

Dick reached out a finger, tracing one of the jagged lines.

Zatanna gave him a half smile. "That Joker is a nasty fellow."

"I know," he said, barely concealing his anger. "If only I had been there!"

"There would have been nothing you could have done," Zatanna told him, softly. "Besides, I'm Justice League. You're Team. It's my job to protect you."

"I don't care," he said recklessly. Slowly, his hand found its way to her thick, black hair. He stroked it softly, and Zatanna held back a shudder of delight. "I would have found some way to protect you. We may not be…together…anymore, Zatanna. But I still care about you."

Zatanna couldn't remember the last time she felt so happy.

Author's note: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I really appreciate your enthusiasm. I will be posting chapter three of _Letting Go_ very soon. It is finally time for Batgirl to make an appearance!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry, everyone, for taking so long to post this chapter! It will be well worth the wait, though! Read on… Reviews are appreciated. **

"What's wrong?" were the first words out of Barbara's mouth upon seeing Dick. _Typical_. Barbara never beat around the bush.

"I'll explain in a minute," he said, kissing her forehead. Zatanna's sad smile flashed through his mind, but he shoved the image away.

Barbara brushed his cheek with her fingers, concern in her deep blue eyes. "Dick, tell me."

He held up a hand. "In time. Let's go eat. I'm starved."

The two entered a small café, taking a table in the back corner. After ordering, Barbara fixed him with a classic batglare.

"So."

Dick couldn't help it. He grinned. Barbara could pull off the batglare almost as well as the Dark Knight himself. "There is no chance you're going to forget, is there?"

"None," she said, flipping her ginger ponytail. "So, shoot."

Dick sighed. "Barbara, what happened on the mission with the Joker? When…when Zatanna-"

She visibly stiffened. "That's classified information." Dick forgot how Barbara had a tendency to be jealous.

"Barb…" he said, his voice nearly taking on a whine.

"Why do you care?" She asked suspiciously.

"Well, I just visited Zatanna and she-"

"Dick!" Barbara exclaimed. She didn't look jealous now. Only hurt.

"And she looked bad. Really bad," Dick said. "And what's more, she told me you nearly died! I need to know what happened. Who dropped the ball?"

"It didn't happen because you weren't there, if that's what you are thinking," Barbara told him. Dick opened his mouth to protest, but she exclaimed, "Let me finish! Things just happen in our line of work! Both Zatanna and I know this. You should, too."

Dick ran his fingers through his dark hair. "I'm thinking of becoming Nightwing again," he whispered.

"What?" Barbara asked, startled.

"I'm ready to become Nightwing."

"I don't need you to protect me, Dick," she said, softly.

"But you do! Both…all of you do," he stood. "I'm sorry. I need to go. There are a lot of things I need to think about."

"Don't sweat it," she said, a small, rueful smile gracing her lips. It brought the image of Zatanna back to him all over again. She wrapped her arms around him. "I love you, Dick." She whispered against his chest. He made no reply.

The pale yellow emblem of Batman lit up the dark, starless sky. How ironic, Dick thought, to be on the other side of the bat-signal. Dick became aware of a soft, subtle noise behind him.

"I'm glad you're here," Dick said, turning around.

"I always answer the bat-signal," the Dark Knight replied, his voice resonant and familiar.

"Batman," Dick said, "I've decided I'm ready to become Nightwing again. My leave of absence was satisfactory. I am asking permission to rejoin The Team."

Batman was silent, studying him for a while. Then he said firmly "Permission denied."

"Why?" Dick asked, incredulous.

"Your place is no longer on The Team. Your place is in the Justice League now," Batman lowered his voice, making it sound even more gravelly, "And I have a proposition for you."

"What is it?" Dick asked.

"I am asking you to pick up the mantle of Batman, in my place. I see you as a great leader, Dick. I always knew I would choose you to replace me. Now, the day has come. Will you accept?"

Dick was dumbfounded. Not only was Bruce relinquishing the role of the Batman, he was resigning it in favor of him?

He could not accept! Dick clearly remembered swearing to never become the Batman. He didn't want the drive to complete his objective to consume him entirely, as it had his mentor.

Then it struck Dick. He already was Batman. Perhaps not by name, but by character. Why had he lied to Zatanna in order to obtain a glamour charm? To complete the mission. Why had he destroyed the cave? To complete the mission. Why had he sent Artemis undercover? To complete the mission. He put the life of every member of The Team in danger for the sake of his objective. The mission had consumed him.

Dick could see clearly now. He needed to stay on his leave of absence. More than that. He needed to leave the hero life. He had already ventured too far down that path. The only way to turn back now was to walk away entirely. But…

_If you become the Batman, you can make the Joker pay for the pain he caused you, through Zatanna. _A voice in his head suggested.

That thought was the endgame. Dick was now fully Batman.

"I accept." Dick said, "I am ready to become the Batman."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Hi, all! I was inspired to take this story off hiatus by none other than my loyal fans! Love you guys! Off hiatus forever! (Or at least until it's finished.)**

Dick awoke to a knock on his bedroom door.

"Come in," he called groggily, sitting up. Alfred entered, carrying the house phone.

"Master Dick, there is a call for you. Miss Barbara Gordon."

"I'll take it," Dick said, throwing off his blankets, "Thanks, Alfred."

After the butler had left, Dick said into the receiver, "Hey, Barb."

"Hi," Barbara replied, "Are you alright? Yesterday…"

_Yesterday._ Dick suddenly remembered all that had occurred the night before, and the decision he had made. _How will I break it to Barb?_

"Oh, yeah." Dick said nonchalantly, "I'm fine. Thanks."

Dick knew that his answer would not be good enough for Barbara. Sure enough, Barbara continued pressing him. "Did you talk to Bruce about re-joining The Team?"

"I did," Dick answered evenly.

"Dick, I don't know why you're trying to evade my questions. You can tell me anything. You know that."

Dick sighed. "I don't know how to explain it to you."

"Try," Barbara said encouragingly.

"Fine," Dick said uncertainly, "Last night I talked to Bruce. He denied my request to re-join The Team."

"Why?" Barbara demanded.

"Well, he told me my place is in The League. And… he offered me the role of Batman."

"Did you accept?" Barbara's tone was unreadable.

"Yes. I did."

There was a long silence. Then, Barbara said, "Congratulations. You must be honored." Her voice was automatic, the way it sounded when she debriefed a mission. Dick was shocked by his girlfriend's reaction. Perhaps she didn't grasp the importance of his decision.

"Barb, this means Bruce is giving up Batman forever. He chose me to succeed him. And it makes Tim my protégé now."

"I know!" Barbara said, "I realize what this means for you!"

Dick was hurt. Hurt, and confused. "Then why…?"

He heard Barbara sigh. "I just… Promise you won't take offense to this."

"Of course not," Dick said cautiously.

"My whole life, I've dreamed of being Batman," Barbara said.

_Ironic_, Dick thought.

"I even told Bruce," she went on, "He said he would keep me in mind. But now, when he's ready to retire, he chooses you. Dick, I know I could do it! I was born to do this. Defending Gotham is in my blood. I want it more than anything."

"I had no idea," Dick replied, stunned. Then, a sudden thought hit him. "Barb, why do we have such a difficult time telling each other stuff?"

"I don't know," she responded softly.

"It's like we have no faith in each other," Dick said miserably.

"It's because we don't," Barbara muttered.

"What?" Dick asked.

"Nothing."

"Barbara, please," Dick begged.

"Fine. You've been spending all this time with Zatanna, and I have a hard time trusting you anymore," Barbara's voice sounded tearful. Barb never, ever cried. "Dick, we both know our relationship isn't working."

Dick felt horrible. "Barb, please don't cry. I'm so sorry. If I had known it would hurt you when I visited Zatanna, I never would have done it. I love you-and you alone." Even to Dick, his words sounded hollow.

"Do you really?" Barb sniffled.

"Absolutely. In fact, I won't visit Zatanna ever again if it makes you feel better."

"Good," Barb said. "I'd better go."

"Okay. Bye." Dick hung up, and sprawled back against his king-sized bed. Rubbing his forehead, he felt an intense guilt set in. It wasn't for what he had done to Barbara, but for what he was going to do to Zatanna.

* * *

Dick's guilt ate away at him all day. He couldn't stop thinking of Zatanna, all by herself in her apartment. She was probably bored and lonely. He worried incessantly. What if her condition worsened, and she couldn't get herself to the hospital? What if she became depressed? What if someone broke into her apartment?

Finally, he dialed Barbara's number.

He cut right to the chase. "Hey, I was thinking about everything we said this morning."

"Yeah?" she asked encouragingly.

"I think Zatanna needs me. Barb, all she has is Raquel and I. So, I can't stop visiting her."

"No-" Barbara began.

"But I'm willing to compromise," Dick interrupted, "Every time I go visit Zatanna, you come with me. I'm sure she would be happy to see you, anyway."

His girlfriend was silent for a moment. Then she replied, "Fine."

"Great," Dick said, relieved, "I was going to visit her this afternoon. I'll pick you up."

"Okay. I'll be waiting."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Hey guys! Just before we get started, I want to clarify: This story is not meant to bash Barbara (Batgirl) in any way. She's not a bad person, she's just going through some difficult times and trying to handle them as best she can. I think that most of us would react in the same way she does. **

"Hey, Zee," Dick said, stepping into Zatanna's apartment. The young magician's heart sunk when she saw who he had brought with him: Barbara. The moment Dick's girlfriend laid eyes on Zatanna, her jaw dropped. Zatanna self- consciously glanced down at the scars on her throat.

"Did the Joker do that to you?" Barbara gasped.

"Yeah," Zatanna answered quietly.

_A little gratitude would go a long way, _Zatanna thought. _It was while rescuing you that I acquired these scars. _

"Wow," Barbara whispered.

"That's nothing, compared to this," Zatanna said, pulling up her tank top to reveal her bandaged abdomen.

"I'm sorry, Zatanna," Barbara said. She looked uncomfortable. "I had no idea your injuries were so serious."

"It's a miracle she even survived," Dick told Barbara. He reached out his hand, his fingertips just barely brushing Zatanna's arm. Her heart skipped a beat.

Barbara made no reply. Zatanna wasn't sure if Barbara had noticed the brief, tender gesture.

Zatanna cleared her throat. "Come in," she said, realizing the couple had barely made it past the doorway.

Zatanna returned to her usual place on the couch while Dick and Barbara sat on chairs that Dick had retrieved from the kitchen.

"How have you been?" Dick asked. His eyes were clouded with concern.

"I've-" Zatanna noticed Dick holding Barbara's hand. She enviously noted the way his fingers curled so gently around hers. _I would give anything in the world to be able to hold his hand that way._

Zatanna realized the former Nightwing probably expected a response. "I've, um, been fine."

"Are you sure?" Dick implored.

"Yeah," Zatanna replied.

She couldn't watch them together any longer. It hurt too much. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Zatanna thought: _I wonder if I can just tell them I need rest and they'll leave. I do, sort of. _

Before she could say anything, Dick said "I have some news for you, Zee." His face was serious. Zatanna noticed, with great delight, that Barbara dropped his hand.

"I decided to end my leave of absence," Dick said, "But I'm not rejoining The Team."

For the second time that day, Zatanna's heart skipped a beat. If Dick wasn't rejoining The Team, it could only mean one thing: He was joining The Justice League.

"So, you're finally in the League?" Zatanna asked, smiling.

"Yes, but that's not all," Dick said, "Bruce asked me to become the Batman in his place and…I accepted."

"But… why don't you seem happy?" Zatanna asked.

"I am happy," Dick insisted.

She could tell he wasn't. "You're not."

Dick stared at the gray carpet. Recklessly, Zatanna leaned forward and placed a hand on his knee. "I think I know why. You never wanted this, did you?" she asked softly.

"But I do now!" he said, his eyes encountering hers. Blue met blue, and Zatanna's breath hitched.

She didn't believe him. She knew _he_ didn't believe him. _This would be so much easier without Barbara here. _

"Dick, do you remember that training exercise you told me about? How when it all went wrong, you began to think like Batman, and as a result you got everyone killed?"

Dick nodded.

"I remember when you told me about it. You made me promise never to let you become Batman. You said you never wanted to be so driven to complete your mission that you put others in danger."

"But don't you see? I already am Batman," Dick said frustrated, "I've made so many dangerous moves for the sake of my mission. I sent Artemis, your oldest friend, undercover and nearly got her killed! It's too late for me."

Zatanna placed both hands on either side of his face. "Richard," she said softly, "It's not too late for you. You can change your mind."

"Change my mind," he echoed. Suddenly, Zatanna realized how close their faces were, how close their lips were…

Barbara cleared her throat, making her presence known. The moment had passed.

"Well, um, we'd better be going," Dick said awkwardly.

"Yes," Barbara agreed, voice taut.

"Uh, alright," Zatanna said, "Thanks for stopping by."

"Sure," Dick said, not making eye contact.

After they left, Zatanna hurried to her window. She watched as Dick led Barbara to the car. Before getting in, Barbara wrapped her arms around Dick's neck and embraced him. Tears blurred the image until they were nothing but colors.


	6. Chapter 6

When Dick embraced Barbara, he had done so entirely out of guilt. He knew it, and so did she. Numbness had settled inside him, and it remained there as he drove Barbara home. Rain pattered on the windshield, occasionally punctuated by a crash of thunder. Neither person spoke. When he pulled up in front of Barbara's house, she left without a word.

_It'll be fine by tomorrow, _Dick thought as he drove on, _I'll call Barbara and we will talk it out, and it'll all be just fine._

_How long are you going to keep lying to yourself?_ Dick pulled over, shocked. Where did that thought come from? He wasn't lying to himself. But as he allowed himself to consider it, doubt crept in.

Rubbing his forehead wearily, Dick let out a sigh. His relationship with Barbara was sinking. It had been, for a long time. _But she's your soul mate! You've known it since you first met!_ But what had felt right in his Gotham Academy days wasn't right for here and now. He had become a different person, and so had Barbara.

But that didn't mean he didn't care for Barbara. He did, deeply. He never wanted to hurt her. He had hurt enough people. Zatanna. Wally. Artemis. He couldn't add Barbara's name to that ever-growing list.

So what could he do? Nothing. He would stay with Barbara, even though his heart wasn't there.

Dick suddenly felt confined. Undoing his seatbelt, he slammed out of the cramped space. There was a bridge close by, and he stumbled blindly toward it. The rain pounded against him and the wind tugged at his clothes, but he didn't care. Reaching the overpass, he sat on the soaking-wet concrete beneath it.

Another matter weighed on his mind, the issue of becoming Batman. _You have to stop lying to yourself about this, too. _He had no desire to hold that title. But, in character, he had already become The Dark Knight. He had crossed that unspoken line, long ago, before he took his leave of absence. As a child, he had chosen the life of a hero solely to avenge his parents. Later, he had lied to Zatanna, put Artemis' life on the line and destroyed the cave. These actions had been committed in the name of his mission, stopping The Reach's invasion. He _was_ Batman, in all but name. Simply turning down the title wouldn't change who he was.

Again, what could he do? Nothing. He couldn't change what Dick Grayson had become.

He felt frozen, unmovable, as he watched his life come crashing down around him. Suddenly, Dick was furious. He punched the concrete with all of his might, watching web-like cracks spread from under his fist. He did it over and over again, causing blood to appear on his knuckles. Barely noticing, he raged on. _This isn't how my life was supposed to be! How long can I live like this, stuck in a life I hate? Stuck in a person I hate? All of this is my fault! I was the one who let Barb and I's relationship fail. I was the one who swore never to become exactly who I am today. _

Dick finally sat down, out of breath. His eyes blurred with tears. _I'm done with this life. It's not even worth living. It's too late for anything to change. It's too late for _me _to change._

Unexpectedly, Zatanna's words came flooding back to him: _Richard. It's not too late for you. You can change your mind. _If only those words were true.

Yet, maybe they were. Zatanna, at least, believed in him. Maybe he only had to let go, to give up the idea of himself as Batman. But who was he if not Batman? He wasn't sure, but past mistakes didn't have to limit him to being someone he didn't want to be. Someday he would find out.

_This isn't the only thing I can change my mind about_, Dick realized, _I can change my mind about staying with Barbara. _Although it would inevitably hurt her, it was for the best. For both of them. Barbara deserved a relationship with someone who was able to give her his heart, without hesitation. And Dick wasn't that person. So, their relationship needed to end - he accepted it.

For the first time in years, Dick felt completely free. It was as though invisible chains had been loosed. He inhaled, holding onto the sensation, savoring it. Zatanna's words had helped him more than she could ever know. They had given Dick permission to let go. _Thank you, Zatanna_, he thought.

In that moment Dick realized he loved her.

**A/N Hey guys! Whew, the whole story has been building up to this chapter! Took me forever to write! But don't worry, there are still 3-4ish more chapters to go. Just so you know, reviews and favorites/follows inspire me to keep writing more chapters... *Hint, hint!* ;) **


	7. Chapter 7

When Dick woke up the next morning, he felt peaceful. For a moment, he couldn't figure out why. Then, noticing his bandaged knuckles, he remembered the events of the night before. Leaping out of bed, he thought: _I need to go to Zatanna right now. I have to tell her everything. But, more than that, simply tell her I love her. _

With a pang, Dick realized it would be unfair to do so until he had broken things off with Barbara. Sighing, he pulled on a sweatshirt and jeans and hurried downstairs. He rushed into the kitchen, where Alfred was making tea.

"Master Dick, you're up early," the elderly butler remarked. "May I be of any service?"

"No, thanks," Dick said, "I just need to make a call."

Alfred discreetly exited as Dick dialed Barbara's number. He waited anxiously for her to pick up, his stomach in knots.

"Yeah?" A familiar voice said on the other side of the line.

"Hey, Barb. I need to have a really important conversation with you. I think it needs to be in person, though. Can we meet at-"

"Dick, I'd really rather discuss it now," Barbara said wearily.

"Okay," Dick said, grimacing. _Get it over with. It's best for everyone if you do it now._ "Barb, I think it's time to end our relationship. I feel like things aren't working between us. And, to be honest, my interests lie elsewhere."

Barbara was silent for a moment. Then: "I don't know what to say," she told him softly. "I care for you, Dick. Some part of me always will. But…I know you're right. Things aren't working between us."

Barbara's voice wrung his heart. He felt some of his resolve slipping. But then he remembered the silent car ride he had shared with her.

"Part of the reason our relationship is failing is that I betrayed your trust by visiting Zatanna. And I'm sorry. It's just… she needed me so badly."

"Don't make excuses, Dick," Barbara snapped.

"I'm not. I'm just trying to make you understand."

"I do understand. You love her, not me."

Dick was silent. There was absolutely no denying Barbara's statement.

"I really am sorry," was all he could muster.

"I can't really say this was unexpected," Barbara said icily. Then, she sighed. "I want to end our relationship, too. A while back, I told you that you weren't ready for me. And you know what? You never will be. Ever."

"I can understand your anger, Barbara," he said. "But I hope someday you can forgive me. I wish you the best of luck."

"Well, duty calls. I gotta go now," Barbara said. After an extremely long pause, she finally said softly, "Dick… thanks."

"You're welcome," he whispered. She hung up. Dick felt for a moment that he had made a huge mistake, but then he thought of Zatanna and knew he hadn't. Relief filled him.

Dick hung up, reeling around to find the Dark Knight himself standing in the doorway.

"Why were you listening in?" Dick demanded.

"Because she's my protégée and you're my ward," Bruce said. "And the walls here aren't that thick."

Dick sighed.

"I think you made the right choice," Bruce said.

"I think I did too," Dick replied, "But that brings me to another choice I need to make. Can I talk to you in your study?"

Bruce nodded, and the two began walking down the hall. When they arrived, Bruce took a seat behind his desk, while Dick claimed a leather chair across from his foster father.

Dick paused before speaking, feeling anxious. He didn't want to disappoint Bruce, who had done so much for him. For the second time that day, he dove right in.

"After a lot of thought, I've decided I don't want to become the Batman. In fact, I'm not sure I ever want to rejoin the hero life." He waited for his words to set in. When Bruce said nothing, Dick began, "It's just… I never wanted to become Batman, but I felt obligated to because-"

Bruce held up one large, well-muscled hand. "You don't need to explain. I accept your decision."

"Are you…disappointed?" Dick ventured cautiously.

"Not really. I saw it coming. I am a detective after all," Bruce said. He smiled, faintly. "Dick, don't ever feel obligated to rejoin the hero life if it isn't the path for you. You're my son before my protégée. Remember that."

"Thanks… Dad." Dick felt tears begin to well up in his eyes. Not wanting to cry, Dick said quickly, "I know just the person to take up the mantle of Batman."

"Who?" Bruce asked.

"Barbara." Dick answered.

"I'll consider it, and I'll keep in mind that you suggested her."

"Thanks," Dick said, standing up. As he exited Bruce's office, he only had one thought: _Zatanna_. He hurried to his car.

**A/N Not over yet! Still two-to-three more chapters to go! Recently, I've received a few reviews expressing disappointment about the amount of Chalant in this story. I want to make it very clear: This is a Chalant story, not a Dick/Barbara story. I'm not a Dick/Barbara hater; in fact, I'm only opposed to them as a couple in Young Justice. Everywhere else, I'm fine with them. Sorry for the confusion. **


	8. Chapter 8

Dick hurried up the stairs of Zatanna's apartment complex, smiling with anticipation. He couldn't wait to tell her, couldn't wait to see the look on her face. Or to hold her in his arms, and this time, feel no guilt.

When he got to her residence, his heart was beating wildly. He reached out and rapped on the door. After a few minutes, there was still no answer. _That's odd, _Dick thought. He looked around the shabby halls. They were deserted.

He knocked again. When he received no reply a second time, he tried the door. It was locked. He knew Zatanna was inside, because she couldn't leave her apartment yet. Panic seized him, and he worried: _Why isn't she answering? _W_hat's wrong?_ He knew he had to get inside. With one swift kick, the door caved in and Dick stepped into the familiar apartment.

Dick froze when he stepped into the apartment. He felt the blood drain from his face, and his breath stopped. Right in the center of the small living room laid Zatanna! She was motionless; her frail body was sprawled across the worn carpeting, her ebony hair pooled around her. _This can't be real, this can't be real, this can't be…_

With a cry, Dick sprung forward and was at her side in an instant. "Zatanna?" He cried, shaking her gently, "Zee?!"

When she gave no reply, he checked for a pulse. It was so faint, he could hardly detect it. She was barely breathing. Her already pale skin was nearly translucent, and had taken on a slight bluish tinge. Dick flew to the phone and desperately dialed 9-1-1. The call was promptly answered.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

Dick answered all the dispatcher's questions, thinking all the while _Hurry up, hurry up! She's dying! We don't have time for this! _

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he was instructed to hang up and go to the nearest cross -street to await personnel.

Although Dick had not been told to take Zatanna with him, he decided to anyway. He didn't want the emergency personnel to waste a second by coming back to her apartment. He knew, at best, he would receive a reprimand. But it didn't matter. Only she mattered now.

Dick scooped up Zatanna's seemingly lifeless frame as carefully as possible, and made for the nearest cross-street. In a matter of seconds, an ambulance pulled up, followed by police and fire vehicles.

Dick was in a daze as paramedics emerged and pulled Zatanna away from him. They loaded her onto a stretcher and she disappeared into the ambulance. It drove away, sirens blaring. An officer approached, and he was asked a fair amount of questions. He could barely focus enough to reply.

* * *

It was nearly an hour later when Dick finally arrived at the hospital. He rushed up to the front desk.

"My friend is in the ER. I was wondering if there's any news on her condition."

The desk woman looked up, a faintly annoyed expression on her face. "Patient's name?"

"Zatanna Zatara."

"What is your relationship to the patient?"

"Good friend."

"May I see your ID?"

Dick showed it to her, and was directed to a waiting room where he would receive updates.

The waiting room was crowded and most of its occupants wore worried expressions. He sat in a hard chair, grimacing. He stared anxiously at the door. A nurse entered, and Dick's breath caught. But the nurse approached an elderly man to Dick's left. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Mr. Grayson?"

Dick's eyes popped open. The same nurse was now in front of him.

"It was determined that Zatanna overdosed on her pain medication. Whether this was intentional or unintentional, we aren't sure yet. Our main concern is her breathing. The doctor is administering an antidote right now."

Dick nodded, trying to swallow a lump that had suddenly risen in his throat.

"Will she be alright?" he choked.

"We don't know yet. We'll keep you updated." The nurse left with a sympathetic smile.

Dick wanted to punch something. Frustration welled up in him, and he blinked back tears. _She overdosed on her pain medication. _Zatanna was never careless. She must have done it intentionally.

But she also wasn't stupid. She knew full well the effects an overdose might have. He couldn't imagine her intentionally taking too much. It must have been a mistake.

His eyes wandered around the room. Across from him, a woman was weeping softly. To his right, there was a man talking in urgent, hushed tones on a cell phone.

Raquel! He needed to let her know about Zatanna. He dialed her number.

"Raquel, Zee's in the ER. Pain med overdose."

"I'm on my way," Raquel replied quickly, and hung up.

When he put his phone down, the nurse stood in front of him.

"She's been admitted to the Intensive Care Unit. The antidote didn't work as well as we had hoped. Brain damage is almost certain, and she's entered into a coma."

**A/N Hey, Chalant lovers! Poor Dick. :( Sorry it took me forever to get this chapter out. I've been really busy. Ironically, just as I was getting ready to write this chapter, I broke my hand and had to go to the ER. A lot of inspiration for this chapter was drawn from that experience. So, review, follow/favorite, and most importantly, enjoy! **


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